Wednesday, February 25, 2009

40 days and 40 nights

Ok, so I didn't go get my ashes today. But every year for lent I give something up, I make a sacrifice. Last year I gave up Facebook and it was incredibly difficult, but that's all part of making a sacrifice right? Well this year I have decided to make myself healthier. So for the next 40 days and 40 nights I will give up junk food, fast food, unneeded snacking, and I will force myself to the gym even when I don't have the slightest desire to to so.

Many people are no longer followers or don't participate in the Lenten season. But I find it very interesting to be a part of something so big and unknown.

image via ffffound

Life is Messy

Life is messy, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Yes there are times I complain of how complicated life is or at times how unfair it is. But would I really want to live a boring life where everything was easy and planned out? No way. I look back and realize overcoming life's obstacles build character.

Life is also too short for regret. Shit happens, move on, learn from it, laugh about it. Just don't dwell in the could have beens and should have beens. You will realize life will pass you by while your too busy complaining or worrying. Life is messy and I wouldn't want it any other way.

{picture via ffffound}

I like these sayings

Monday, February 23, 2009

Are you afraid of the dark?

I am scared of pretty much everything {that is if it catches me off guard, or I am alone in the dark}. I have been this way as long as I can remember. Like this one time when i was little, I was terrified of bees. I was outside watching my dad practice his golf swing {luckily he was doing so in front of the camera so he could see what he was doing wrong}. ANYWAYS while I was watching him swing the golf club, a bee flew straight at my head and got stuck in my hair. Now you can only imagine the terror that came across my face and screaming from my lungs. I was frantic, running back and forth in the yard screaming as if I were being murdered. My dad was chasing me to find out what was wrong, because how was he supposed to know there was a bee in my hair {keep in mind the camera is still rolling}. Finally the bee gets free and I go back to hanging out in the back yard.

The fear I experience is pretty intense and it is all in my head. For example, the dark. I dont like it. It scares me. Luckily when I come upstairs after watching TV at night there is a light switch at the bottom of the stairs that I turn on, when I get to the top there is a switch to turn the previous light off and another switch to turn the next one on. When I get to the top of the next flight of stairs there is a switch to turn the previous one off and another to turn the hall light on. When I get to the end of the hallway, I reach into my room and turn on my light, and then reach out into the hallway and turn that one off. LUCKILY I don't have to walk one step in the darkness UNTIL it is time for bed. At this point I turn off the light in the room and as quickly as I can jump into bed. I jump just in case there is something under my bed... crazy I know... but I am just making sure haha

So I am a scardy cat. I'm jumpy, if you pop out from behind a corner I will scream bloody murder. If you scare me in the dark, I might just pee my pants. You won't find me at a haunted mansion {the last two I went to, I never made it inside} or a scary movie. If my friends do convince me to see a scary movie you probably won't see my face because they will constantly be covered by my hands.

BOO.. image via ffffound

HA! Image via ffffound

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Some are Silver, and the Others Gold

This past weekend I visited friends from school. The best is when it's like nothing has changed, or no time has passed. You still talk, laugh, and appreciate the friendship the same way. Because really, what has changed? Friends are Friends. Yes it takes an effort from both side, but what makes people give up on each other?

I guess you could say its something I think about often, probably too often. I hate when good fiends fight to the point of hatred. We are often stubborn when it comes to wanting to prove that we are right when you tell us we are wrong. And when you hurt us our initial want or reaction is to hurt you back. And who better to really hurt you, but a close friend who knows you, knows what gets under your skin? It sucks. It's also weird to think how close people can be at one point and how fast that friendship can be something of the past. What do I do now? Do I wait and see if they come around? Do I become persistent in finding out the real cause to these changes. I don't understand it. I am just going to leave it at... it saddens me to see some friends get up and walk away.

I am not claiming I am perfect here. I will be the first to tell you I'm not. I have just gotten to the point where I feel I am trying to hard. Putting too much of an effort into some sided friendships. You can't sit on a see saw with someone who expects you to do all the work. That just doesn't happen.

picture from ffffound

I leave you with lyrics to the song Make New Friends. It has been stuck in my head all day. I would sing along to the lyrics when I was a kiddie, and it's interesting to go back and read the lyrics today. I see them differently than I did then.

Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
the other is gold.

A circle is round,
it has no end.
That's how long,
I will be your friend.

A fire burns bright,
it warms the heart.
We've been friends,
from the very start.

You have one hand,
I have the other.
Put them together,
We have each other.

Silver is precious,
Gold is too.
I am precious,
and so are you.

You help me,
and I'll help you
and together
we will see it through.

The sky is blue
The Earth is green
I can help
to keep it clean

Across the land
Across the sea
Friends forever
We will always be

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Can't pull me down

I came across this picture on my daily visit to ffffound

I used to let people take me down. I would get caught up in their troubles. Times have changed. I am above it all and lovin life. You won't take me down with you.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

It's Valentines day weekend! On Friday I did my best to be festive for the kiddies at school. I wore a fun red shirt and spent twelve dollars on heart shaped Lollies {I spent 12 even though I could have gotten the same amount for 9, because I knew I would want some as well, gotta get the good stuff}. The only catch was they needed to be good listeners and get their work done. All but one class accomplished this goal {second to last period was soooo bad and loud, neighboring teachers called the principal!}. They didn't get lollies.

Anyhoooo today my two gf's were home from school for the long weekend. We ordered in some sandwiches and salads, drank tea, had delicious chocolate covered strawberries {thanks to chachis bf whom mle calls the best boy friend everrrrr}, made some videos on facebook {hahaha pretty priceless} aaaand swapped music. We literally laughed till we shed tears {or in mles case, till she almost peed her pants}.

Although I can't say I enjoyed one of those "traditional" Valentines days, I looooved mine!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Things you look at Change

Thursday night is finally here. A night most college kids look forward to during the week. I myself used to look forward to Thursday nights, a chance to let go and break free from all the work and stress. But now that I am no longer living on campus Thursday nights are just one night closer to the weekend. Once I get home from work I'm exhausted, I will get some homework done before I am dragged to the gym by my super fitness mom {love her, just not her opinion of the gym}. I really would love a nap somewhere in there, but sometimes there just isn't enough time.

I do miss going out with everyone back at school, but I love where I am right now. Yes, I am still taking classes for a miserable major that I don't particularly like, but I am also subbing and doing other things that I enjoy. It has also been such an eye opening experience {living away from my friends} for a few different reasons. I feel I have time to breath. I have a history of taking on everyones problems and drama and making them my own. Don't get me wrong, I am always here to listen to a friend in need. The problem was I would begin to stress about these issues instead of lending an ear and simply giving advice. But, I am getting much better at this.

In the beginning I guess you could say I was smothering/stalking my friends. I had missed them dearly and did everything I could to keep in contact and updated in their lives. But it gets to a point where you realize how one sided some of these friendships really are. Of course there is the select handful that I would never second guess as a friend, I still get the occaisonal text/im/call/message/wall post from them, and I try and do the same. Because I love, lurve, luff them.

It just gets to the point where I need to ask myself, am I putting way to much effort into a friendship that is pretty much hopeless? And if so, why don't I just let them go? The answer? Simple, I don't like losing people. Therefore when I have a friend that will lean on me whenever I'm available, I'll be there for them even if they can't be there for me as much as I would like them to. I love my friends, and I will always be there for them.

Like the picture?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

That's a Lie, I have plenty

Today was great. I was scheduled to sub for teachers who needed to attend a meeting during school. The meeting was then canceled and I was thrown into a random first grade classroom to "help out" till lunch time. I had a blast. First graders are just the cutest. They were soo fascinated by me and my presence. When it came time to get their math problems checked by the teacher, they no longer accepted her answers, they wanted mine. I felt like I was their new queen, they worshiped me.

After lunch I was shipped out to another elementary school in town. The Hanson {not a fan}, here I taught math to second graders for an hour, we talked about the idea of making an estimation. From there, I became the chapter one special ed reading teacher. I had a total of four kids in the class and we just worked on getting the main ideas out of a short story.

So in any case, my day was busy. I came home and started some homework when I realized my days are not well planned out. I make a plan every morning, but that takes up so much time and I will often forget what I had planned when the day gets away from me. SO I decided to venture out and buy a monthly planner to get organized. Now I would like a monthly planner that has Monthly pages {where I can keep track of my subbing days and places} and weekly pages {where I can keep track of my homework assignments and tests}. I didn't think this was too large of a request until I had gone through FIVE stores, and from every one, left empty handed.

Now I remember seeing a plethora of agendas and monthly planners around December and January in every store from Barnes and Noble to CVS. So today when I went to two different hallmark stores, marshalls, cvs, walgreens, and staples and couldnt find anything I was baffled. WHHYYY are they mostly in stores when the year begins?? Monthly planners are generally used for the entire year, but you can only buy them when the year begins? Well, I wasn't feeling very organized in January, does this mean I must wait till next year?? Inconceivable.

This picture is soooo me right?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Live for pleasure

Ok, so I didn't have to work today, and I have the day off tomorrow, but I still really like this picture. Do the things you enjoy. Live for happiness. :)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

By George I think she's got it!

Today was the day! It finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I have never felt soo alive and sure of myself at the same time. This may all sound completely corny but its exactly how I feel.

Today I was a sub at the JFK elementary school as an aid. I was assigned one to two different kids a period and helped them accomplish the in-class assignments at the same speed as their peers. There was also a time of the day where I was needed to cover one of the third grade classrooms for math and computers. This was a blast! Not only do I love math {total nerd} but I was able to teach the kids how to solve problems. This may sound unbearable to most, but to me, its amazing.

The kids all in all were great! Of course there are the few who think they can out smart the sub, but once you warm up to them they understand you are simply here to help.

Anyways after walking to the parking lot with the principal who welcomed me and thanked me for my help, I explained to him I loved doing it and it really was no trouble. I came home, made some tea, and realized I was simply ecstatic. I was so happy and knew this was exactly what I wanted to do for most of my adult life. {notice I said most, because I still want to travel and live in NYC} Just because I realized what I want to be doesn't mean I will give up on the rest of my dreams.

So here it is, after I graduate from WSC with my Business Major and commercial and recreational tourism Minor I will move to NYC, work for a business of some sort, make sure there is a lot of traveling done within the company. Then either come back to these parts or stay out there, get my masters in Education and Teach! Of course I would also love to get a place on CC where I can spend my summers off.

Who knows, I might end up getting my masters first, or traveling first. Either way, I now know the direction of where I want my life to be going. This is HUGE for me... In the past I was just playing around with the idea of teaching, or maybe nursing, or maybe the peace corps. I was lost, but now I have some dreams and goals and I am going to stick to em!

p.s this is a lovely polaroid I found at love it

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cold...not so hot

I have come down with some sort of terrible cold/flu combination. I have been on my couch laying low as the cough and stuffy nose take over my life. I was obviously unable to work {I don't want the kiddies getting sick} and therefore watched old movies and reruns on hulu pretty much all day.

Chicken noodle soup, green tea, and ginger ale were the staples to my cold/flu diet. Not so much fun.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Interesting Weekend

This weekend was fun, interesting, wild, and of course dramatic. I was visiting friends, letting loose and having a good time. We gossiped over long breakfasts and dinners at the DC. Laughed until we literally shed tears, and drank until we had forgotten all our troubles.

Don't get me wrong, I had a wonderful time. It was just at times I felt things get a little out of hand {ok not just a little, a lot}. But thats me! I am super dramatic and I just can't help it.

So what was so dramatic? Nothing really, it was more that little things were blown out of proportion, therefore making it a big thing. One example was a boy {we all know boys are stupid} but I may have been a tad bit dramatic about it {ok, I was really dramatic}. And then a tiff with a friend, which I honestly have no idea what really happened {but we are still friends right? HA}. Oh did I mention my car got towed? Yes, that was interesting.

I was walking towards my car to drive home when I noticed from a distance that it was strangely getting higher and higher off the ground. After pleading with the wsc police {they have cold hearts} I had to pay over 200 dollars to get it back. Now that is something that deserves a dramatic retelling! So thats just what I did.

Anyways it was a good weekend over all! I had a blast! Some of the best partying and stories we have had so far. :)